Browse Category by the Highly Sensitive girl
the Highly Sensitive girl

My Last Childhood Pet Died Today

When I grew up we spent Christmas Day at my Grandparent’s house.  This was back when my Grandparents were still alive, and everyone got along well enough to celebrate holidays together.  Today things are very different.  I couldn’t tell you the last time I’ve seen some of those aunts and uncles.  But back when I was 11, which was the Christmas of 1995, my Aunt Suzy decided to get my sister and I kittens, since the year before we had to put our cat, Baby, to sleep on Christmas Eve.  (Talk about how miserable that Christmas was!)

Anyhow, my sister named hers Jordan and I named mine George but, because I was 11 and wanted to be cool, we spelled it Jorge.  

Jorge was a great cat.  Big and fluffy, grey and white.  A real lover.  He would lick you until he nibbled and it would totally hurt but you couldn’t get mad because he was so sweet.  I actually remember this one time his big, fluffy tail caught on fire when it touched the candles on our dining room table.  I guess it serves us right for letting cats on the table.  He tipped the scale at about 18 lbs and we all made fun of him for it.  Big, fat, silly kitty cat. 

Jorgey

At 16, when my parents divorced, my dad kept him.  My dad, who didn’t want ANY cats, started to really love him.  He was hard not to love.  I would see him when I’d visit, which started out as a lot, but as life goes… I got busy.  College, my first pregnancy, buying a house, second baby, and so on.  I would only see Jorge here and there when I’d quickly stop over my dad’s for this or that.

This last year my dad, who just turned 76, would give me the same update on Jorge’s health.  He couldn’t jump on the bed anymore.  He had a hard time walking down the stairs.  They kept his litter box in the living room now so he wouldn’t have to go far.  But if you looked at him, right in his big yellowy-green eyes, you saw Jorge.  The Jorge we all knew and loved.  He was still very much alive but my dad knew it was coming.

I visited a few weeks ago and my dad gave me that same update.  When I was there I sat with Jorge, took him outside, let him lick me and was happy to see him looking as lively as he could.  He didn’t look sick, just old.

Today I found out he passed away earlier this morning.  It’s funny how I haven’t lived with Jorge in 15 years or spent much time with him, and yet I immediately got emotional when I found out.  The last pet of my childhood was gone.  My home life wasn’t always stable growing up but my cats, especially Jorge, helped make me feel better.  

He was nearly twenty years old and lived a wonderful life.  I can still remember falling asleep with him on that Christmas night and being so happy I had a kitten to call my own.  Rest in peace pretty boy.  Thank you for the memories. 

I love you.

the Highly Sensitive child, the Highly Sensitive girl

The Love of a Highly Sensitive Little Boy

November 2008

He was going to go take his normal, midday nap.  Something he always did but did with such an entitlement that I despised it.  I told him I was going to the store.  Instead, I drove around streets I knew too well for over an hour, with tears falling down my face feeling lost and confused and defeated.

I have dreams for my life that will never happen…” I thought.  Dreams that had kept me safe and protected as a child, when life at home was spinning out of control.  Dreams that, no matter how far I pushed out of my thoughts, kept crawling back to the forefront of my mind.  Without really knowing it, a sadness and hopelessness fell over me.

I was expecting.  For the second time.  With a man who never truly saw or understood the importance of what lied in my heart.  Dreams that meant nothing to a person who tried so desperately to keep us together.

At this point, I was living at home with my mom, working part time at an insurance company and trying to make sense of my life.  We already had a daughter together, who just turned 2.  Life wasn’t really going at all how I hoped it would, if I’m being honest.  I was 24 and had always dreamed of being a singer.  Instead, I was a young mom, in a not so stable relationship expecting baby number two.

How could I possibly handle my life, let alone create the life I want, with another baby?  

I’m not sure how I did it but I have.  His name is Christian James.  And he has changed my whole world.

highly sensitive little boy

 

December 2014

His free spirit confidently sang, “And Rudolph with your nose so bright, won’t you guide my sleigh tonight…” as animated and passionately as a seasoned professional, down the isles of our local grocery store.  He sang with purpose and excitement and joy.  His spirit was for all to see, nothing hidden or broken or ashamed.  I felt nothing but pure happiness watching this.

He’s 5 now and has been gifted with the same highly sensitivity nature as me.  The depth of emotions his heart can reach could change this world, if he wanted.  There’s moments where he is so overcome with emotion that his eyes swell with tears and fall down his round baby cheeks, only by the thought of Alvin and the Chipmunks really leaving Dave for good.

He’s different.  He’s wonderful.  And he is so full of life.  Where others see limitations, he sees adventures.  Unless, of course, he’s so engrossed watching Spider-Man and needs another apple cut up.  Then I’m requested.  But for the most part, he sees life through a lens different than most.

He feels life.  To him everything is beautiful, even the somber songs that sing of heartbreak and despair.  He closes his eyes, demands me and his sister, Hannah, to be quiet so he can feel the music.  I smile, as I admire his ability to escape this world and enter one that’s all his own… because I understand.  Twenty-five years ago I was that little girl, sitting in the back seat of a car, enjoying every moment of any song that made me feel something.  Just like him.

His hands are gentle, well… most of the time!  His touch can heal any bad day or bout of anxiety I feel.  And if a movie or song brings me to tear, he sits there with me.  No questions asked or judgments made.  Because to him, this is just another moment and let me tell you, this little guy knows how to live in each and every moment.  The sweetness and awareness he has is something I envy, for mine has been tainted over the years.

I fear one day I will look at him and the light that brightens his walnut shaped blue-grey eyes so beautifully will be dimmed by the disappointment and pain of the harsh world we live in.  Maybe he will feel the same lonely heartbreak of watching his dreams go up in smoke one day, like I thought I had.  I, in fact, hope he does.

For, if not, he won’t have truly experienced this world he lives in.  However, I hope he finds his way back to himself.  I hope he remembers who he is and that his ability to feel the world so deeply is a blessing.  Because to love so freely and openly is actually how we find happiness after heartache.

When we allow our hearts to be touched by love we free ourselves from the barriers we’ve built up against it.  When I fell in love with this little boy, 5 years ago, I began to understand that the love of a highly sensitive little boy would not actually change me at all but would remind me just who I’ve always been.

highly sensitive little boy

A highly sensitive girl who was meant to love.  A lot.  And deeply, just like my Christian.

And boy, do I love him so much.

Healthy Mind, the Highly Sensitive girl

15 Traits of Emotionally Healthy People

Being the highly sensitive girl that I am, staying emotionally healthy hasn’t always been easy.  It was so overwhelming to feel everything so deeply that I would shut down most of the time.  Eventually not learning how to deal with my emotions lead to a 10 year battle against bulimia, depression and anxiety.

For a good chunk of my life I felt trapped.  It wasn’t until my mid-20’s that I started to really explore becoming an emotionally healthy person.  It was a journey that hasn’t always been easy.  I had to face tough truths about myself, my past and the people in my life.  But I started.  And in the process of releasing unhealthy habits and beliefs, I realized there’s a handful of things that emotionally healthy people do!

Here are 15 traits of emotionally healthy people!

  1. Having Self-Awareness – The first step in moving towards becoming emotionally healthy is self-awareness.  When you are aware of yourself, you are able to see what habits and beliefs serve you and which do not.
  2. Knowing Their Boundaries – Emotionally healthy people know their boundaries and aren’t afraid to stick to them.  For they know by doing so they are not only keeping themselves emotionally safe and happy, they will be of better service to others…even if that means saying no.
  3. Forgiving & Repairing Damaged Relationships (if possible) – Emotionally healthy people forgive.  It takes time but they allow themselves to grieve and work through any and all emotions that come up after being hurt.  If possible, they repair damaged relationships.  But they also know when it’s best to end a relationship for good.
  4. Exercising and Eating Well – The mind, body and soul are all connected.  Healthy people understand just how important one plays a role in the other. So that means not only expanding your mind and meditating but moving your body and fueling it properly.  You will be able to focus, perform and sleep better.
  5. Nurturing Their Self-Esteem – Healthy people understand their self-esteem will naturally go through highs and lows as the “seasons change.”  They do not hold onto judgments about these changes but rather accept and nurture them.
  6. Practicing Flexibility – No, I’m not talking about yoga.  Although I’m sure yoga definitely helps with being emotionally healthy!  What I am talking about is being flexible with what life throws at you.  Emotionally healthy people are adaptable.  They can assess a new situation, how they’re feeling and other’s reactions to it. They can then decide what’s the best way for them to respond.
  7. Placing a High Value on Personal Development – Healthy people understand the value of personal development.  They grow and learn from mentors and people they admire.  They spend a lot of time reading or listening to personal development audio so they can grow. (kinda like you’re doing right now!)
  8. Staying Positive – You will rarely – if ever – see an emotionally healthy person complaining about all the non-sense in their life.  Instead, you’ll see someone who can accept the current hand they’ve been dealt with positivity.  They are problem solvers.  They create opportunities to grow  and do so willingly.  You can’t do that with a negative mindset, that’s for sure!
  9. Practicing Gratitude – Practicing gratitude is a healthy way to attract more of the things you want in your life.  If you want more love, be grateful for the love you already have.  If you want more money, same thing.  Healthy people understand and honor the law of attraction by practicing gratitude.  They also understand by giving thanks you are shifting your thoughts onto the positive rather than the negative.
  10. If You’re Mad, Be Mad – I know this appears to contradict the last two traits but listen, healthy people acknowledge, accept and express exactly how they feel.  They don’t hold it in or let it fester.  If they’re mad, they allow themselves to feel mad.  Same with being hurt, jealous, disappointed, frustrated or the like.  The difference between emotionally healthy people and emotionally unhealthy people is they express and feel it fully.  Once that happens, they tend to feel better!
  11. Staying Active and Productive – Healthy people are always trying something new- volunteering at an animal shelter, building a new shed, learning how to ski or something that keeps their minds and bodies challenged.  They know the beauty of life happens when you go out and live!
  12. Knowing When to Ask for Help – Emotionally healthy people aren’t afraid to ask for help or they don’t allow that fear to stop them for asking for it.  They recognize it’s OK to get assistance at some point or another.  Whether it’s to help with emotional issues, relationship advice or they’re in need of a dog sitter.  When they need to, they will ask.
  13. Taking Care of Themselves – Self-care is vital in being emotionally healthy.  These kind of people know when you need to refuel your bodies & minds and aren’t afraid to do so.  They are also aware of their limits, triggers and how to get back in balance.
  14. Following Your Passions – Passions don’t live within us to be ignored.  Emotionally healthy people work towards living a fulfilled life and a main part of doing so is by following their passions.  They understand if they don’t, they will always be longing for something and that is fertile grounds for falling into unhealthy ways.  Find your passion and follow it!  It will lead you to love, I promise.
  15. Loving An Animal – OK, so I just threw this one in for fun.  You don’t have to own and love a dog to be emotionally healthy.  However, I bet there’s a lot of emotionally healthy people out there who are big animal lovers and have a beloved dog or cat that they consider family.  Like me :)

emotionally healthy people

I think one of the most important aspects of being emotionally healthy is learning how to manage emotional stress.  Whether it’s by setting your boundaries, taking care of yourself, exercising or all of the above.  Learning how to take care of YOU, which will different from the next person, is essential.

I hope these traits have been helpful in learning what you can focus on to continue living a healthy, happy life or to help you if you’re just starting on this journey!  XO.